Tuesday, 23 February 2010

6 Lessons learned from the last 2 weeks

Just a quick post to indicate that I’m still alive. Regular readers may be disappointed by this. Nothing has particularly irritated me (other than a film below) over the last couple of weeks, so here are some things (films and stuff) that I have liked and one thing that I loathed:


(500) Days Of Summer: This film was a smart and savvy appraisal of being one of those pathetic hopeless romantic types- featuring the gorgeous Zooey Deschanel and “The Kid From 3rd Rock From The Sun” (more popularly as Joseph Gordon-Levitt), they were believable characters and shared reasonable chemistry- both in a coalescing and combusting sense. Quite brutal in places, it lightened up a bit at the end, but still didn’t result in being overly schmaltzy. Unlike He’s Just Not That Into You; a film which spent 2 hours saying that women are not the exception to the rule (he WAS a player but he’ll change for you etc.) and then ended with the most desperate lady ever seen on film gasping “I am the exception” whilst a man- who had spent the film being completely uninterested in her- was in the act of ravishing her. This made me far angrier than any film should.


The Lovely Bones: Peter Jackson back with that superb directorial eye of his- juxtaposing lavish dreamscapes with visceral scenes and some astoundingly tense moments in a rather horrible story of a girl who is brutally murdered and continues watching the repercussions of her murder- her family’s slow descent into ruin, her killer continuing to go free. Mark Wahlberg subtle turn as the father of the murdered daughter and Stanley Tucci’s equally restrained- and frankly quite terrifying- role as the murderer (who probably could evade suspicion more easily if he didn’t dress like a stereotypical serial killer) are both worth the price of admission- although I should add a special mention goes to Laura for paying for me to see this.


Bioshock 2: The long-awaited (by me at least) sequel to the original Bioshock game came out. I got it a day early- thank you very much zavvi- and went about completing it.

The art design- both character and location- is superb, having been set a decade after it’s predecessor, most of the underwater city in which Bioshock 2 takes place is becoming increasingly derelict and the inhabitants are less human in appearance (having messed with their DNA), and these are generally well thought out. This means that whilst it doesn’t look as realistic as say Modern Warfare 2, it still manages to look quite superb. If you’re into barnacles and Art Deco furnishings.

The story falls a little short of its predecessor, but there is still some mildly interesting philosophical debate to be had, if you’re willing to search hard enough, but nothing that you wouldn’t hear from a drunk student at the union after a few pints. The game is also fairly easy, even on the hardest difficulty. Still, despite these flaws, Bioshock 2 is a game that does a good job of capturing the tone and style of the first, and I’d recommend checking it out if you’re gaming inclined.


I finally got around to listening to The Shins’ “Wincing the night away” the other day, after “Black Wave” came on in a pub and I decided that I needed to own it, the rest of the album is quite wonderful as well.


Finally, in a surprise at number 6: Engineering works on Valentine’s day are awesome, having serendipitously introduced me to a girl who had skived off work in order to try and win her ex-boyfriend back. Thus restoring my faith in people attempting to make life more like a romantic comedy. Even if she failed in winning him back.


Honorable mention goes to "The Devil In Ember" by Mark Gatiss, a book which I have been enjoying for the last couple of days.

Monday, 1 February 2010

6 Lessons Learned From Facebook Fan Pages

The Internet, it truly is a fabulous thing. I use it daily, I imagine you use it daily. In fact I bet you’re on it right now.

Anyway, I came across a superb site- a recommendation from my sister- this week: Stumbleupon.com, basically it is a website which directs you to other websites which people have recommended to it, when you’re bored of that particular site, click the “Stumble!” button and it will put you onto something else. The websites can be anything from webcomics to psychological journals explaining quirks of human behaviour, from flash games to playlists of songs that make you happy. It really is excellent and shows you how good the Internet can be.

Unfortunately the internet can also be a place for rampant idiocy. I, like many people in the 21-35 bracket, harbour something of an addiction to Facebook, spending most of my free time on it- a fact that becomes even more concerning when I consider the abundance of free time that currently I have.

Whilst doing what amounts to very little on facebook, I’ve noticed that with the advent of fan pages there has a new selection of moronic bandwagons for people to jump on. So here are 6 lessons learned from facebook fan pages:



1: The Fan Page: Behind every untrusting girl is a boy who made her that way.


Number of members: c.115,000


The Lesson: The internet is made up of sadists, or people who are pathetic.


Number one on my list of perplexing facebook fan pages is this one. I’m not even certain what the members are professing to be a fan of? Is it applauding the boy who broke the eponymous girl’s heart, because that would mean that there are a lot of emotional sadists on facebook.

Alternatively, it may just be for people who like untrusting women, which suggests it would be a call to arms for like-minded fans of distrustful women to get together to discuss the best way of breaking a woman’s trust.

Dropping the facetious-tinted lenses that I view most facebook fan pages with, this is obviously a page for people who consider themselves untrusting, presumably as a means to get even at whoever betrayed their trust.

Perhaps it is because I’m male, or perhaps it is because I’m British, but something seems intrinsically wrong about advertising the fact that you’re: a) untrusting, and b) the fact that you’ve let a boy hurt you in the past, to your entire network of friends. I can’t help but feel that this group single-handedly puts back the cause of feminism a good half decade.



2: The Fan Page: The sexist legend who put this on his maths paper


Number of members: c. 115,000


The Lesson: 1950s views of women are not only socially acceptable, but also funny.


To be honest, I’ve seen this before and it caused a small amount of mirth, it’s a question from a maths paper featuring a woman- Tracey- quoting an equation, the question then asks the participant to say why Tracey is wrong. The answer given on this particular paper is “She’s a woman”, which, as I said, did raise a smile. However, I did not find it funny enough to warrant starting, or even joining a group supporting the bloke (or woman with no self-esteem) who wrote it.

Then again, whoever started the group wasn’t applauding the joke itself, but “The sexist legend” who wrote it, which sort of implies that he likes people who are sexist, and that he also lacks the intelligence to produce the curt response himself.

He also uses the word “legend” in a stupid place- which for some reason really irritates me. I doubt that the story of “The sexist with a sense of humour” will endure as long as that of say, King Arthur, but then again I’ve done my part to pass it on.



3: The Fan Page: ALARM…Snooze…ALARM…Snooze…ALARM.*Checks Time*…SHIIIIT


Number of members: c. 1,559,000

The Lesson: Some people are not good at waking up


It is one of the fundamental truths of human existence that after a decent night’s sleep, people do not enjoy getting up, and that some people may, on occasion, hit snooze a couple of times and regret it. I don’t understand why it is necessary to become a fan of something so utterly banal. Unless it’s crumpets. Crumpets are awesome.



4: The Fan Page: Kill The Lot: Paedophiles, rapists, abusers of all kinds


Number of members: c. 29,200


The Lesson: Paedophiles, rapists and abusers of all kinds are bad.


Yes, much like the previous point, this group points out the blaringly obvious. Only this group goes much further and suggests that they kill Paedophiles, rapists and abusers of all kinds, presumably “all kinds” includes abuse of human rights, and with one member advocating that the any of the above groups should be shot on site [sic], bypassing the right to a fair trial, I suppose that suggests that some members of the group should also be shot. And not just for their abuse of the English language.



5: The Fan Page: WOW…YUH DON’T LYK ME…>What do you expect me to cry or summink


Number of members: c. 1,774


The Lesson: People are so, so stupid


This group, just going by name, irritates me in so many ways, the lack of punctuation other than ellipses, the lack of spelling, the apparently aggressive demeanour of whoever created it, defending their right to be a moron in as loud and as objectionable a way as possible. I read this title and I am immediately reminded of a 14 year old chav who I once saw on the bus, who was near enough chewing the ear off anyone who looked at her, this brought her further attention.



6: The Fan Page: 6 Lessons (and other miscellaneous ramblings by Jonathan Crouch)


Number of members: c. 80


The Lesson: The internet is awesome and has a great deal of fun and readable content. It also fosters shameful amounts of self-indulgence and shameless self-promotion.


And in a surprise entry at Number 6 is my very own facebook fan page, I suggest that you join it if you haven’t already, and invite all of your friends to it.

The majority of the fan pages I have joined have been local bands or DJs who I am friends with, and the fan pages of facebook are perfect for helping them keep in touch with their fan base (the fact that having a group of people being you can refer to as your fan base is wonderful in itself) and publicising their events to people who may be inclined to see them. For evidence for fostering of self-indulgence and shameless self-promotion, look no further than the previous 1,000 or so words.